Cinema Page II
This page is for post-apocalyptic movies that I've seen, but don't personally own. Enjoy the reviews. If you disagree with any of them, well, I guess you'll have to make your own site, won't'cha? So let's start it off with the long awaited....
Time of the Apes
This one was thoroughly sent through the wringer by MST3K. The movie made no sense at all. It was a blatant attempt to cash in on Planet of the Apes market, but at least it had such amusing crap as the Ape Commander dressed in the Colonel Sanders get-up.
Gaming/Modelling ideas: Save yourself the embarrassment.
Planet of the Apes
series reviews and others....!
Beneath The Planet of the Apes
For the gamer or artist: There are plenty of good visuals throughout, but mainly towards the end. Lots of ruins full of old crap, practically worshipped by the mutated remnants of humanity. B
oy, wouldn't it have been great to see them just duke it out? The armies of the new vs the dredged-up technology and psionic feats of the old? Well, I guess we'll never be satisfied... unless someone runs the scenario in miniature maybe....?
Escape From The Planet of the Apes
Conquest of The Planet of the Apes
Battle for The Planet of the Apes
Planet of the Apes TV Series and Cartoon
This "western" feel really makes it work. Post-apocalyptic flicks, at least the better ones, have a lot in common with those movies about the "thrilling days of yesteryear". They both feature characters in lawless, desperate situations, where authorities are far away or nonexistent, and the struggle of individuals to impose their wills on these desperate situations to survive. They involve moral choices, and the consequences of those choices, in situations where the characters are basically "on their own" with no one there to tell them what's right or wrong. They'll have to decide for themselves and act.
1990 Bronx Warriors
Corporate Heiress falls for local Trash. That is really his name. Battle ensues, involving Fred Williamson of Warriors of the Wasteland fame. Also has tap-dancing gangers...
Gaming/Modelling ideas: Nope, not here.
Well, "Skank Girl" more like. Nonetheless, I likes me some cheese, and this is dangerously cheesy. It's entertaining at least. Whaddya do when you live in a wasteland where there's no water? Take a shower with sand! Malcolm McDowell is at his usual bad best in this flick.
Gaming/Modelling ideas: To each his own I guess. Lots of nice decayed things, and grafitti-laden tracked battle vehicles to inspire yours.
Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone
Another straight-up sci fi fest that crosses over into Post-Apoc territory, this one's about an interstellar junk man trying to rescue 3 earth chicks from the evil "OverDog" (Played to the hilt by the incomperable Michael Ironside).
Gaming/Modelling ideas: You want mutants? We've got mutants here! Tons and tons and TONS of 'em, all over, of all kinds, shapes and sizes. And vehicles! Boy oh boy! And to top it all off, a sassy scav redhead whose smartmouth "earther" slang speaks volumes of the fine art of post-apocalyptic eloquence! Wanna annoy your players? ...instant roleplaying NPC!
It's the Patrick Swayze Post-Apocalyptic flick! Apparently, he actually did this one right after Dirty Dancing. Sword-slinging, post nuke style, as our hero tries to defend local a local water farmer (played by his real-life wife) from local oppressors.
Gaming/Modelling ideas: Like "The Ultimate Warrior", no guns in this one. But if you wanna combine swordplay with after-the-bomb, this one might inspire. A little bit.
NOTE: You will not learn any dance steps from this movie.
The Day After, Deep Impact, The Day After Tomorrow, endless eco-disaster flicks and gloom-n-doom documentaries.
Not gonna review 'em. Yup, that's right. One reason is personal taste, so there. But more to the point is that these really don't have much to offer for the gamer, be it RPG or miniatures gamer and quite frankly have nothing to offer the genre, storytelling-wise. Hell, some of 'em really aren't even part of the genre. They pretty much offer an hour and a half showing the sheer hopelessness and futility of battling against their ideological viewpoint .... errr.... I mean the disaster in question. Nothing is really mentioned of the "life after". Something horrible happens and then that's it... the end. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for a "happy ending" or anything, I just think that this genre is a great vehicle for storytelling, especially telling tales of "what if" - the legitimate fare of any science fiction subgroup.
And these other flicks just don't cut it. So they won't be listed further here.
This is what happens when Kevin Costner does Post Apocalyptic flicks. Visually, they're not bad, but both movies were just plodding along and were mind-numbingly slow. Contrast them with Mad Max or Road warrior. Those were just boom-boom-boom-boom one-after-another action sequences with little or no fat in between. Yes, there were sweeping wasteland vistas, but only as a set-up for the next storyline exposition. These two flicks end up just being boring.
Gaming/Modelling ideas: You could do worse, but you could also do without these.
Reign of Fire
Well, here's something new and interesting: the world goes to hell, but the cause is the awakening of a horde of Dragons. A very watchable film, it has plenty to offer. The scene where the community members entertaining the kids with a very modern story, Star Wars, is quite amusing. The Van Zan character is a total badass to be emulated in whatever game you wish to put him in.
Gaming/Modelling ideas: A nice decayed look all around. People hide out in old fortresses because the countryside is far too dangerous. They've adapted to local conditions.
Children of Men
You wanna REALLY see what this flick is all about? Watch the DVD extras. It'll put the whole thing into context. Stoners and carping misanthropes are the good guys, peaceniks as save-the-world heroes, not to mention stuff like little old german ladies in cages waiting for the cattle cars (somebody's twisted idea of irony), brutal crazy cops etc. OK, enough already! We get it. A lot of it just didn't make any sense anyway, like why, if most humas are dying off, you would want to actually deport people you don't like. At that point it wouldn't matter, you'd want all the brains and hands you could get on your side working on a solution. Hell, with a little research and computer work, I could string together news footage and get similar visuals for you to look at for inspirational purposes, which is basically what this movie is. Done-up news footage style scenes with pure propaganda woven into the fabric.
Gaming/Modelling ideas: I’ll give the Devil his due: The visuals are actually pretty good, but you can get the same by watching any news show. Other than that, it’s just a piece of boring nonsense..